I'm not going into specifics here.This has always been a place to focus on the fun, the happy, the silly, the stupid/weird. You know, ME! Instead, just know that this entire divorce process is one that can reveal your mindset and character flaws pretty quickly.
Most of the time I get it right. Occasionally I goof it up pretty good.
There is no handbook for this. There is no limit to the amount of advice you can get, either. I tried hard to sort through the best of the advice and ignore the stuff that I just couldn't buy into.
Stand firm and fight.
Be flexible and claim the middle ground.
Don't let anyone screw you over.
Give up whatever else to keep what is important.
Never say anything negative.
Say it. Just don't let the kids hear it.
There were lots of contradictory messages to take in in a short time frame. Good luck finding clarity in all of that noise.
Sometimes my route has been perfectly clear. Other times, I could not even catch a glimpse. In the end, I have used each bit of this advice at some point.
The best of these, the piece of advice that seemed to ring most true in the beginning and at the end was simple. Paraphrased, it was simply 'At the end of this, you gotta be good with the kids and with yourself'.
Now that I am three-weeks divorced, it's not yet over. Won't ever be, really.
What I know now is simple. I'm good with the kids and I'm good with the guy looking back at me from the mirror.
12 years ago
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