Thursday, June 25, 2015

An Open Letter to My Kids

Hey guys,

It's true and it sucks. Your mom and I are getting a divorce.

In a couple of weeks we won't all be living together in our little rock house. We won't be waking up and staggering through our mornings together. We won't be sitting down to dinner together like we do almost every night. And hopefully I remember to feed the pets. Every. Dang. Day.

You guys are about to be asked to split your time and your space. Sometimes you will be with me. Sometimes with mom. Rarely will it be with both of us. You are about to spend half of your time at Mom's new house. That's going to be weird/awesome.

You'll figure out how to live at Mom's house. A new room. Different furniture. It'll be weird. I've known your mom for a long time, so I promise you will still have chores. Some things will never change. Your mom will be there to help you out every step of the way. That will also never change.

You guys will find all sorts of new and exciting stuff in your new neighborhood. At 13 and 11 years old, I bet you will make loads of friends at the new place. It'll be awesome. And weird.

When you are here, you'll be home. But that will be weird too because pretty soon you are going to feel at home at the new house too. And that part is weird/awesome. I won't share that part of your experience. That will just be. After a while it won't even seem weird. Always, I'll be here every day to help you out or just to listen. Any time. Any problem.

Any dumb joke that must be immediately shared with the universe. After all, you know I'm a sucker for a ripping fart joke.

I will never be more than a text or a phone call and a short drive away. We all know that sometimes the really good, the really bad and the insanely silly stuff just. Must. Not. Wait.

The next few years are not going to be Mom's weeks or Dad's weeks. Each week will be YOUR week. When you need anything at all, at any time, you will always have two parents who will help in every way possible. It will never matter whose house you slept in last night.

Like when you left for kindergarten after we stayed home together for so many years, I'll learn about the great stuff and the tough stuff from you. I'll hear about the awesome and the weird, the sucky and the amazing when you are here, with me. And I'll love every minute of it. Just like when you were six.

Guys, after 11 and 13 years, I am certain you know this. You are loved. I love you. Your mom loves you. You will always be loved. We will always make time for you guys. And we will chew you out when you do stupid crap in high school. Because we love you.

We will also laugh about it behind your back. Because you will deserve at least that.

Please alway remember that when you need one of us, we will be right there. When you need both of us, we will make it work and it will be awesome.

Someday, before you date or marry or shack up (DO NOT tell grandma I said that...) we will share with you our whole story. I want you guys to know that Mom and I worked hard at staying married for a long time. Also, I want you to know where we screwed up so that you can avoid those same mistakes.

Now is not the time for those talks. Now it is time for you guys to double down on weird/awesome. Your Mom's new place is in serious need of your craziness. And my house can handle a lot more years of amazing noise and excitement so I'll be counting the days until you get back.




The Father of Five said...

As a LONG TIME reader of AtHomeDaddy - this story makes me sad... Yet, at the same time, provides me a little happiness too.

I know FAR to many stories that people end up together and hating on each other. To the point it is not healthy, productive, or positive for the parties involved.

It would appear from the way this was written that you and TheBossLady have committed to making the best of this sad news - each for your own sake, and for the sake of the children.

Know that you have many friends keeping you and the whole AtHome "cast and crew" in their thoughts and prayers during this transitional period for your family.

Do not hesitate to ask for anything that could help support you or your family.


The Father of Five said...

I should have been a little clearer - "happiness" in that it appears you will be able to make the best of things for the sake of your children.