This should be on the Dark Side...

But I'll try to keep it clean, since it is an issue that is really important to me as a stay at home dad, not just because I am a big whiner...

The kids both have nasty coughs. I have an even nastier one. It is allergy season. Welcome to Austin. All them trees? Pretty, aren't they? And as Yoda would say, "Cedars, they are. Lots of pollen put out, they do. Them all down, let's cut."

I digress.

Anyways, no one is sleeping well. The boy was up several times. The girl was up for good at 6:15. The wife, she was up at 6:30. And me? I was faking a drug induced coma through it all. I admit it.

My lovely bride took the kids to Target at about 8:30 this morning. I was having a wonderful dream and sleeping better than anyone had all night. Then the door bell rang. Twice.

The first time, it just became part of my dream. The second time, it really woke me up. I guessed that the family was locked out of the house. So I went to the door in my pajamas.

To find a business card for a siding and window company.

And a dude standing in my front yard.

So I asked him in my kindest and most caring voice, "You ring my ^(*&^@# @#(*& (* @%!& @#* )_@(* doorbell? On the one day I got to sleep a little late? My god man, you have a death wish? Twice?"

I think he was surprised. But not as much as the guy with him who had just rung the neighbor ladies doorbell. Now she was REALLY pissed. I could hear her giving that guy hell from across the street.

I went inside, got a shirt and went back to find the guy still in my yard. I think he was hiding, in case neighbor lady wanted a piece of him, too. I asked him if it was his business card. He says it is. I pointed towards the house and told him that our house already has siding on it.

He told me "They did a good job on it."

So I shared a secret. We would be buying windows soon. Just not from him. Because he ruined a perfectly good dream involving me, Lindsay Lohan, Herbie and Yoda wielding a chainsaw...

In case you want to know who NOT to buy windows or siding from, I kept the card for a souvenir. It is all I have to remind me of my beautiful dream.

Besides, I might need to call the 800 number on that business card a few hundred times tonight. Why not? The kids will be up all night and nothing better to do, have I.