Might want to take your pills

'cause the insanity that is about to spew forth from this post might make your head spin.

There you have it. Fair warning.

I am a junkie. I don't know if I have admitted it on this blog, but lots of people know. Not the Dr Pepper thing, that is old news. Truth is, I cannot walk past a red tag/clearance sticker at Target without stopping. And frequently buying. Slam a clearance sticker on a 3 day old salami sammich and sell it to me for 80% of it's M.S.R.P. I would probably buy it.

Today is a great example. I had to run to Target for Spray and Wash because I cannot seem to eat dinner out without wearing a little of it home. Pick up $4 of laundry spray and get in and out of the store. 15 minutes. Tops.

Of course, the kids were with me so we detoured through the toy section. "No buying today, just looking" I reminded the herd. Can't blame a guy though, it will probably hit 102 this afternoon, so we might as well soak up some air conditioning at the store. The kids did good and nobody whined when we walked on. Good times!

Since we were close, we walked past the school supply section. Found some lunch boxes that The Boss Lady will hate. But they were "red-stickered" for $4 each AND made in the USA. So they came home with us. One Hello Kitty, one Star Wars Clone Wars. Everybody happy? Yep!

The wine aisle was only a few feet away, but no good deals to be found. So we walked on.

The last time I walked through Target I found some silk ties on clearance for less than $9 each. See, I told you I can't resist... So we cruised over to the Men's Clothes section. No dice.

Walking to the registers The Talker spotted some tennis shoes that he likes. I saw a sticker that I like. The shoes were on clearance for $8 from $35 and they had his size. Sold! The Princess got some new shoes the last time we were shopping, but I couldn't resist searching for clearance stickers in the girly shoes.

When I was a kid, we loved to come to my grandmother's house here in Austin. She had a half dozen huge pecan trees and each fall it was big fun to make huge messes with the leaves and to pick up a few pecans. I have never forgotten that I learned while picking up pecans. Where there is one on the ground, there are several nearby. Bend over to pick up one nut and you might as well take a second to glance around for more. It saves time and you don't have to bend over as many times. Hey, I told you this post was going to be crazy. Nutty, if you will...

That pretty much sums up the way I seek out Target clearance stickers. If there is one nearby, there are always more. You just have to keep looking.

No good deals jumped out at us in the girls shoes. But then we hit the end of the aisle and turned the corner.

There they were, a pair of cool looking Converse All Stars, in my size AND with a beautiful red sticker. $9 instead of $34! I didn't even mind the fact that they only had one lace. For $2, which is full price :( , I could get a new pair of black laces and still be way ahead and looking good in my geek-chic shoes.

But it turns out that I am not cool enough for my new shoes.


The Talker has a pair of shoes like this. Still I didn't notice until we got home and tore into our deals that the one lace was only done up half-way. That is because these shoes are not made to be laced at all. They are slip-ons. The bottom three eyelets don't even have holes though the canvas.

I took out the half lace and tried on the shoes. They are comfy enough, but without laces they are just too cool for me. At almost 41 years old I guess I am proud that I can actually bend over to tie my shoes, so I don't want to give it up yet. Besides, I am pretty sure that the 6th-8th grade set would laugh me out of the classroom if I strolled in without laces.

Like I said, The Talker is cool enough to make the look work. I am not.

Never one to give up on a good deal, I decided to "fix" my new shoes. After all, I own power tools for occasions just like this, right?

I cut out the canvas covering the three lowest eyelets and laced these bad boys up. And NOW I am ready to show off my new kicks to the middle school crowd.

I have a college friend who collects thousands of dollars of basketball and sports shoes each year. The dude is waaaaaaay into Jordans and Nikes. He rolls around Dallas in several pairs that he had custom made. The guy has no kids.

And that probably explains why he has probably never taken a power drill to any of his kicks.

Grab a snack and sit down. This post is going to take a while...

This will probably end up being the first in a multi-part post. That is the sure sign of a good weekend, right?

The Boss Lady was at work on my birthday, and we were both real busy getting ready for the biggest party we have ever thrown at our house, so my actual birthday was a real low key event. Which was fine with me. It is too hot to get too excited about anything right now.

Unknown to me, the wife had made big plans for a couple of days later. REALLY big plans. Been working on getting everything arranged for a couple of months big. I mean to say, big plans.

Friday, while I was getting the backyard ready for the party, The Boss Lady came out and told me "Go take a shower and get dressed, we are going to lunch." Lunch didn't really fit into my yard work plan, but it is hot out there, so I didn't complain too much. I packed up the yard work and we headed to lunch.

She demanded to drive to lunch, so I was pretty sure something was up. See, I am quick like that.

When we parked at Torchy's Tacos, I reminded The Boss that the kids and I had eaten lunch there two days earlier. She had a very diplomatic response. Something like "Too bad. So sad. This is where we are going to eat." OK then. The line was pretty long, so the kids and I grabbed a table and were settling in for a long wait. Mainly because that is what The Boss Lady told us to do.

I was helping the kids get settled when a guy, a big guy, I mean a REAL big guy, walked up to me and said "Excuse me sir, I've never eaten here before and I was wondering what is good." Actually, that is a paraphrase. I don't remember exactly what was said, because he about 5 words in when I started to figure out what was going on.

The big guy's face sort of looked familiar, but I was not putting a name with the face very easily. At least not until I looked at his T-shirt. Right through the middle of the shirt it said Jordan. And then it hit me. I was in the presence of greatness and legend. The Father of Five and his lovely wife, fresh in from Minnesota, were hanging out, with me, at my favorite restaurant.

I was absolutely speechless. The video likely shows that I cried a little bit.

Standing right in front of me is a guy who I have know for 3 or more years, but I only knew him online. We had never met in person. In the last year or so we have gotten to know each other as well as a couple of guys could through Facebook and a couple of blog sites. We have entertained a couple of ideas to meet up, but those plans always seem to be made for the future, thanks to the 1400 miles that separate our home towns. And now Father of Five was in my town, to hang out with me at my birthday party.

Cool! Beyond cool.

The Boss Lady claims to be no good at planning surprises. After she and David arranged all that it took to pull off this visit without me ever catching a whiff of the plans, I don't think either of them can claim that title again.

There is more to the story and I'll get to it soon, so come back for the rest of the story. And pictures. Loads of pictures.

Follow this link to get to the second post in the series.