Getting back, once more again.

I'm going to try to start blogging again.

I'll be leaving this stuff here and writing again over at 

3/6/22 Updated Title and address  to new blog Come A Long Way and Still AtHome.

See you soon over there.

AtHomeDaddy

I'm gooood.

I'm not going into specifics here.This has always been a place to focus on the fun, the happy, the silly, the stupid/weird. You know, ME! Instead, just know that this entire divorce process is one that can reveal your mindset and character flaws pretty quickly.

Most of the time I get it right. Occasionally I goof it up pretty good.

There is no handbook for this. There is no limit to the amount of advice you can get, either. I tried hard to sort through the best of the advice and ignore the stuff that I just couldn't buy into.

Stand firm and fight.

Be flexible and claim the middle ground.

Don't let anyone screw you over.

Give up whatever else to keep what is important.

Never say anything negative.

Say it. Just don't let the kids hear it.

There were lots of contradictory messages to take in in a short time frame. Good luck finding clarity in all of that noise.

Sometimes my route has been perfectly clear. Other times, I could not even catch a glimpse. In the end, I have used each bit of this advice at some point.

The best of these, the piece of advice that seemed to ring most true in the beginning and at the end was simple. Paraphrased, it was simply 'At the end of this, you gotta be good with the kids and with yourself'.

Now that I am three-weeks divorced, it's not yet over. Won't ever be, really.

What I know now is simple. I'm good with the kids and I'm good with the guy looking back at me from the mirror.

An Open Letter to My Kids

Hey guys,

It's true and it sucks. Your mom and I are getting a divorce.

In a couple of weeks we won't all be living together in our little rock house. We won't be waking up and staggering through our mornings together. We won't be sitting down to dinner together like we do almost every night. And hopefully I remember to feed the pets. Every. Dang. Day.

You guys are about to be asked to split your time and your space. Sometimes you will be with me. Sometimes with mom. Rarely will it be with both of us. You are about to spend half of your time at Mom's new house. That's going to be weird/awesome.

You'll figure out how to live at Mom's house. A new room. Different furniture. It'll be weird. I've known your mom for a long time, so I promise you will still have chores. Some things will never change. Your mom will be there to help you out every step of the way. That will also never change.

You guys will find all sorts of new and exciting stuff in your new neighborhood. At 13 and 11 years old, I bet you will make loads of friends at the new place. It'll be awesome. And weird.

When you are here, you'll be home. But that will be weird too because pretty soon you are going to feel at home at the new house too. And that part is weird/awesome. I won't share that part of your experience. That will just be. After a while it won't even seem weird. Always, I'll be here every day to help you out or just to listen. Any time. Any problem.

Any dumb joke that must be immediately shared with the universe. After all, you know I'm a sucker for a ripping fart joke.

I will never be more than a text or a phone call and a short drive away. We all know that sometimes the really good, the really bad and the insanely silly stuff just. Must. Not. Wait.

The next few years are not going to be Mom's weeks or Dad's weeks. Each week will be YOUR week. When you need anything at all, at any time, you will always have two parents who will help in every way possible. It will never matter whose house you slept in last night.

Like when you left for kindergarten after we stayed home together for so many years, I'll learn about the great stuff and the tough stuff from you. I'll hear about the awesome and the weird, the sucky and the amazing when you are here, with me. And I'll love every minute of it. Just like when you were six.

Guys, after 11 and 13 years, I am certain you know this. You are loved. I love you. Your mom loves you. You will always be loved. We will always make time for you guys. And we will chew you out when you do stupid crap in high school. Because we love you.

We will also laugh about it behind your back. Because you will deserve at least that.

Please alway remember that when you need one of us, we will be right there. When you need both of us, we will make it work and it will be awesome.

Someday, before you date or marry or shack up (DO NOT tell grandma I said that...) we will share with you our whole story. I want you guys to know that Mom and I worked hard at staying married for a long time. Also, I want you to know where we screwed up so that you can avoid those same mistakes.

Now is not the time for those talks. Now it is time for you guys to double down on weird/awesome. Your Mom's new place is in serious need of your craziness. And my house can handle a lot more years of amazing noise and excitement so I'll be counting the days until you get back.

Love,

Dad

It's a life thing. And I can make you understand. Or at least tolerate the truth...

I never have talked a lot about work on this blog. I had a "teacher blog" for a while but it was incredibly impersonal and boring. So like most things, I got bored and deleted it. Don't want to read about a Special Education teacher's view of public education, then you might want to move along. Quickly.

This school year has been a great one, even with lots of changes for our family and especially at my school. The Boss Lady started a new job this year, moving out of district administration and back on to a campus. She is working at a middle school now. Lucky for me, her, and 1900 school kids, we are not on the same campus. In fact, our schools are as far across the school district as they could possible be. (The two schools are in totally different economic environments, too, but that is boring teacher talk). 

I have taught Special Education for 5 years. But every job I have had since Jr. College was centered around working for individuals who are living with developmental, emotional, or physical challenges. The classroom seemed to be the next logical evolution (WAIT! My goodness, this is Texas. A teacher writing about evolution? And logic? Heresy!) of my career.

After a year in the classroom (and a lay-off, and getting rehired a few months later) I realized that I was actually pretty good at this teaching thing. Another year went by, my skills further developed, and at one point I had to really stand up to several administrators. I dropped a now campus-famous couple lines of truth on them. "I know you've never seen me do my job. I've never really seen you do yours either. But let me tell you something. I am REALLY good at what I do. So good luck replacing me on this project."

And in a move fraught with absolutely NO surprise, they never replaced me on that project. And the crew from the administration office have generally left me alone since then. Well, unless they had a big problem on my campus. Then they seem to remember my phone number pretty quickly.

Back then, several of my fellow Special Education teachers and I jokingly coined the term SPEDLIFE. This was a quick, but gritty reminder that everything we do impacts our students for their lifetime. Yeah, it really is that important. But it's also an easy reminder to have some fun while we are solving the problems of our part of the educational universe.

My SPEDLIFE knuckle tats make an occasional appearance 

at staff meetings and going away parties.

This school year I started off working with our most complex students. Several of them have lots of needs related to Autism or Sensory issues. Others have multiple physical and/or developmental disabilities. All are dealing with issues that impact every aspect of learning and home life. This is my crew. I love working with this class but it is tough.

This is the type of class you don't see on the news. Teachers and Instructional Assistants working hands-on with students all day long. Usually with no lunch break or planning time and exactly the same pay as the teachers down the hall who get two planning periods and a lunch away from students (134 minutes total) in an 8 class day. There is supposed to be solace in the smaller class sizes (I shared 10 students with another teacher), but I usually shared a cold hamburger and soda with her hours after lunchtime, too.

Standing up for my own teaching skills and fighting for my students on an empty stomach and full bladder got the best of me. I jumped ship 8 weeks into the school year.

I still rep the SPEDLIFE but my new job is much different. I now work with students who have Autism or some other Sensory Processing challenges. These are kids who rarely stop by to see me. A few of them come in once a day, but for the most part I chase them around campus, meeting them in their grade-level classes, working on appropriate class-taking skills, organization, conversation (my specialty. right Mom?), and all of the things a middle school student needs to succeed. A fact that would be of interest to my own middle school teachers, I help them keep assignments turned in. ON TIME. And... don't faint... keep their lockers (or backpacks) organized. Pretty sure that my old middle school assistant principal, who used to make me clean my locker one a week, by force, just died a second death.

This transition came with a couple of huge caveats. I said 'bye' to 5 and took on 25 students. Biggest of all though, because of a perfectly timed maternity leave (not mine!), I filled in for another team member and took on a large part of her job as the liaison between our team, the campus administration and the district level administrators who I had only told off a few years ago.

Turns out that lots of these people have taken some interest in my ability to juggle lots of different tasks at the same time. And they seem to share my opinion of my teacher-self. Pretty soon some of them may be living the SPEDLIFE, too. I just hope they leave me in my crazy, exciting classroom for a long time.

This thing still on?

Back in October of 2013, I limped away from this blog with a post Summer Blackout Recap. Not a word since then.

You lucky bastards.

Unfortunately for you all I still remember my password and still have access to this blog.

A quick recap. The Talker is almost a teenager (less than 2 weeks to go as a 12 year old). The Princess is about to finish elementary school, and The Boss Lady survived a nasty bout with a viral brain infection last year. I did finish my 3000 mile bike ride challenge last spring, topping it off with a 1 day, 75 miler through the Texas Hill Country.

The last year and a half have included several job changes, one for me, one for The Boss Lady. After a four year detour, she is back in a job that she loves and is having a blast. I gave up a job teaching and working with some of the most physically and developmentally delayed students in our school system. I now teach classes for students who are either Autistic or have other sensory issues.

The Backyard Farm currently consists of one Big White Dog, the black/brown/red/grey short-legged, long-haired, loud-barking Different Dog, The Other Kitty (now 19 years old), 6 chickens and 1 Betta Fish.

There you go. I stayed away of 15 months and you are caught up in 7 minutes. See you in a year or so.

Summer Blackout Recap

We are six weeks into a new school year.  That means we are 1/6 of the way to next summer.  And if most teachers are really honest, THAT is what matters.

I haven't stopped by here in a while.  I thought I had posted a few times over the summer, but I noticed today that my last post was the weekend that school ended in June.  So what did you miss?

An epic trip to Southern and Central California.  We flew into San Diego, by way of San Jose (I fly SWA outta the way sometimes). We lounged in San Clemente for about a week and then went to Sequoia National Park for a few days.  On the way back south we drove along the Pacific Coast Highway.  It was an amazing trip.

This summer I didn't get to ride the new road bike as much as I had hoped.  In the Spring I had to have some skin cancer removed and the doc removed a nice chunk off of one ear.  He repaired it with a skin graft that came off of my chest, right above my clavicle.  The whole thing was much more draining than I had expected and my 6 weeks of recovery really took about twice that long before I felt good again.  At the end of the summer, literally the last day before I had to report back to work in August, I finished my spring/summer goal of pedaling 1000 miles.

The Talker and The Princess are doing great in school this year.  The boy is on campus with me and I see him several times during the day, but we are both lucky that I do not have him in my classes. The Princess is in 4th grade and she seems to have the world by the tail.  I was concerned how she would like school without big brother around, but those worries were for nothing.

The Boss Lady started a new job this school year.  We both still work in the same school district, but she is across town, working in administration at a high school.  It is really the job she was hired to do about three years ago, but the bigwigs had other plans and she worked on a special, super secret, double stupid assignment that she hated for that entire time.  It is great to have her doing the things that she likes and wants to do.

My entire education team fell apart over the summer.  I knew one of the three teachers was leaving, but the other was a complete surprise to me in the early summer.  We also have about 15 assistants that help out in our three classes and only 2 of those staff members returned from last year.  Needless to say, with all new staff, I am a busy little dude this school year.

I am keeping up with one goal for this school year.  I am trying to merge my interests and my obligations.  This school year, even with the craziness of a new staff, I decided that I needed to work fewer hours.  I was routinely working 60 hours a week for a job that pays me for 40, regardless.  This year, to keep myself in check, I decided to bike 1 mile for every hour that I work.  So far I am about 30 miles ahead of my hours.

Hopefully, unlike my blogging that seems to have died a slow, horrible death, I'll be able to keep up with my riding for this entire school year and I'll have ridden almost 3000 miles between March 2013 and June 2014.

Summa!

Tomorrow morning I need to run out to my school for a an hour or so. I was so ready to be gone last Friday that I didn't hang around to turn in my keys. Tomorrow I'll get that little chore out of the way after I make one last pass through my soon-to-be former classroom. Tradition has held true once again and for the third year in a row I'll be trading spaces. Another new school year, another new classroom. The upside to being so transitory with my teaching spaces, I tend to not collect a bunch of "teacher junk". I stored all of my bulletin board and class supplies in one small locking cabinet. I hauled home one small stacking drawer set because it was cheap, light and I am sure easily pilfered when my campus is used for district wide staff training this summer. This summer The AtHomeFam will be busy as always. The Boss is heading out of the country just to get a little peace and quiet. She will really enjoy some quiet time in Central America after we all travel to California for a week earlier in the summer. I am getting a few things checked off of my bucket list when we hit the west coast. I have always wanted to get to Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks. We will be spending a few days out there this trip. Also, I am planning to rent a road bike for a few days so that I can cruise a few dozen miles along the Pacific coast. The wife and kids will be hitting the beaches and I'll be rolling along the side roads. The Talker is officially a Middle School student now. And most lucky for him, he will be on MY campus next year. I guess it will become OUR campus soon enough. The Princess will be a 4th grader in August. Just thinking about the upcoming year is making me tired. Time for some summa!

15 days, give or take

Summer is almost here!  All of the teachers are starting to breathe easier.  We are down to about 15 days around here.

The kids?  Yeah, I guess they are happy, too.  Don't really care.

The summer is full of promise and I am hopeful for an epic time this summer.

Trip to California.  Lots of bike time.  Trips to Dallas and Ft. Worth and Matagorda Bay are in the cards.  Bike time IN California.  Wife is headed to South America.  Without a bike, poor kid.  

It should be an awesome season.  Hopefully I'll get some of it documented over here.

Two GOOD LOOKIN' bald guys (Soon)

The Talker and I are getting ready to get our beauty on. In a couple of weeks we will be participating in a St. Baldrick's head shaving event.  St. Baldrick's funds pediatric cancer research.  This is an issue that has become very personal to our family, thanks to an amazing teen neighbor who has battled aggressive tumors this entire school year.

The Talker has already collected more than $500, eclipsing his current $250 goal.  (He originally hoped to raise $100).  I am almost to my goal of $265. Last year I tried to raise $500.  I fell short by $15.  So this year when I planned to raise $250, The Talker reminded me about the shortfall from last Spring.  Thus, my $265 goal.

I was planning to post a link here to our participant fundraising pages but I decided against that since those pages are all listed under our real names.  I know you are flabbergasted to learn that his name isn't ACTUALLY The Talker.  I feel sorta like a fraud... 

If you would like to donate to The Boy, please contact me and I'll direct you to his collection page.  I'll be sure to post some pictures after we get our melons all bald and beautified.

I don't wanna...

Just haven't wanted to write for a while.  I used to apologize for extended absences.  Nowadays I say "deal with it.  Or don't"  I am just not inclined to worry about it.

A month ago I renewed my love of road biking.  The Boss Lady helped me make the leap and I bought a Specialized road bike (aka a ten speed - though this one technically has 18 gear combinations).  I have had the bike for 3 and a half weeks and have already topped a hundred miles in the saddle.  I still grin like a school boy when the new blue racer and I hit 30 miles per hour on a nice, flat cruise.

The new bike may have been a really well timed purchase, too.  A week after I got the new ride home, the bottom fell out of our household.  And since then it has been nice to have something to keep my mind and body occupied.

Not even a month ago we got some awful news about The Big White Dog.  His chest cavity was full of one giant and fast growing tumor and the cancer was already showing up in his kidneys too.  We knew he was not feeling great, but we were certainly not prepared to hear the worst case scenario was coming true.  Less than a week later our 125 pound, 8 year old puddle of puppy was gone.  After realizing that he was unable to eat or drink, The Boss and I knew that we had to let the vet help Kodak go.

And that sucks.  Again.  And Again.

Long suffering readers may realize that this is indeed the third pet we have lost in less than a year.  Our Spring addition to the family was a 2-3 year old Great Pyrenees girl who had been used up by a lousy backyard breeder.  Something went wrong after her spay surgery and we lost her two weeks later.  The kids were crushed.  The Boss was devastated.  I was wrecked.  It sucked.

A few months ago we had to decide to have our 17 year old kitty cat, P.K., aka Pretty Kitty, put to sleep.  She was ancient and it was no surprise. Still, the kids were crushed.  The Boss Lady was devastated.  I was wrecked.  It sucked. Again.

After losing Kodak, none of us are totally back to ourselves yet.  We have mostly quit crying but it is still horrible to realize that our big ol' albino melon head is not sitting and peeking OVER the fence when we arrive home in the evenings.

The 12 pound puppy we adopted last summer is adjusting well to his role as big dog of the house.  Now I can only hope that the rest of us adjust pretty soon, too.