Thursday, February 02, 2006

The world's worst girl toy

Need a gift for a kid you hate? Need to buy that jerky little kid around the corner a birthday present? Well do I have the perfect toy for you... A Fairytopia Magical Mermaid Barbie doll. Even the name sounds stupid, right?

Yesterday The Princess found an still boxed up Christmas gift in her closet. And who can resist "Daddy, can I play with my new Barbie? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE?" I tried to get the doll out of the box quickly, because my daughter was squealing with delight, just anticipating her turn with the new doll.

And now I know why The Boss Lady never opened this piece of junk. It broke. BEFORE I got it out of the #$)&()(#&$# box! The tail fin won't stay on, so we have a mermaid without a tail floating somewhere around the house. The Princes has already moved on to playing with real dolls.

The fin and bikini top are both now taped in place. But that won't work for long. The Talker is bound to get a few peeks at the mermaid's rack, because the plastic bikini is just barely covering the goods.

And that hair. Didyaknow that they sew the Barbie hair to the box? Yep. So The Mermaid is already losing her hair because I did not remove it from the box correctly. And did we really need another thing that sheds in this house? I think I hear the vacuum cleaner crying in the hall closet.

So if you feel the need to make some little girl cry, fork over a half naked prematurely balding tailess mermaid toy. It will make her day really special.


Clare's Dad said...

We've got the same topless finless mermaid around somewhere...probably at the bottom of a box of other naked Barbies.

Mike said...

The Princess' is already swimming in the bottom of the trash bin. Maybe the shortest lifespan of any toy, ever.