Carpet cleaning for 7 year old boys

So how does one get their carpets cleaned right before his 7 year birthday bash?

Evidently, you take down the side fence.

That seems to be all there is to it. Really.

The logic goes like this...

Step one: Take down fence and then the dog will be nervous and pacing around for at least two days because he is stuck in the house. All. Day. Long. He wants to be in the backyard, keeping watch over the neighborhood from his perch on the retaining wall. Instead, he is now locked in the garage. Not a happy dog.

Second step: have a 4 year old girl leave her breakfast and milk in the dining room when you go to drive the carpool.

This may be the most important part: In a mad dash to the car, forget that the food is out and the dog is IN. A lethal combination for rugs, carpets, blankets, upholstery in general.

Steps four through whatever: Drive the carpool and return to find the result. Clean as much as possible before dropping the girl off at preschool. Beg off work at the preschool and return to dig the steam cleaner out of the shed. Clean the stem cleaner since it has lived in the shed/chicken coop for months. Then clean the rugs, carpets, walls, bedding. Whatever was in the blast zone.

Finally: Take the dog for a long walk while the carpets dry. Hopefully wearing him out, so he will fall asleep in the living room without causing anymore chaos.

And don't forget to smile while you work. 'Cause you don't want the dog to feel bad and get nervous...