Thursday, June 04, 2009

Stuck at home

My keys are locked in my car because I am an idiot. So The Princess and I are stuck at home today. But at least I am an idiot without a headache. (For now.) Or 0nStar. (Forever).

Yesterday morning, and for several days in a row, I had a nasty migraine. We went out to dinner as a family once The Boss Lady got home from work. She drove and I set my keys in the console between the front seats. I can still see them sitting there now.

This would not be a hassle, except I don't have a spare key and I let my 0nStar subscription expire a while back. The hands free phone built into my car was nice for road trips and the monthly emailed diagnostic report about the mechanical status of my car was awesome. But I never used any other part of the service. And it was not worth a couple of hundred bucks a year to keep the service going in my car. Until this morning. One of those remote unlocks would have been sweeeeeeeeet!

I called 0nStar to see if they would pop my lock, since I am such a nice guy and I was a customer for several years. No dice. But that was what I expected. Companies like GM and 0nStar don't go bankrupt after getting billions in taxpayer funding by giving stuff away for free... I digress.

I asked about the cost of renewing my service so that they could then unlock my car as a paying customer. But no deal there, either. Turns out I would have to be IN the car, and connected to their service via the 0nStar button that is conveniently located about three inches from my keys. A button that I would not need to push anyways, if I was that close to my keys.

So, to get my keys out I would have to sign up for roadside assistance service (for another hundred bucks a year) and then they would have to dispatch a locksmith. THEN, after a two hour wait for the keymaster to appear, and once I got in the car, I would have to activate the 0nStar account again to reap the many benefits of this wonderful service.

Or, maybe not.

Instead of all of that, I'll just call the wife. She can bring me her keys in about 20 minutes for the cost of gas. Then I'll get my keys and get a spare copy made for about $2. Soon I'll be driving again AND a couple of hundred bucks ahead.


The Father of Five said...

I hope you tipped your wife for the convenience of such a short (20 minute) wait, door to door service, and (I imagine) service with a smile!

I have only locked my keys in my car once.. two years ago... on our anniversary... on my way home from a half week chaperoning Boy Scout Camp... when I stopped at a mega grocery store for flowers on the way home...

Thankfully - 20 minutes from home. It was only 11pm - and I had to call to have the wife bring the spare set of keys to me... er, ah... I mean to come get her anniversary flowers!

alanmoore78 said...

I lock keys in my car about as often as I change my oil.

But if the car has power locks and a metal aerial antenna, I'm in. Luminas, Tauruses, Intrepids, all the cars Dallas had for taxis five years ago, I could get in them. Used to charge cabbies $40 or so to do it for them. I took their money, did the deed, then handed them their bent antenna. Learned how the hard way the first day I drove a cab. Locked the keys in the ignition when I went to fill the tank. Tall black kid in a poofy Tarheels jacket unscrewed the antenna and had it open in 20 seconds flat. I bought him a carton of Newports. You can teach a man to break into a car, and he will scam cabbies for a lifetime.

If you see any of those ex-Dallas cabs running around with a bent antenna, you now know why.

Oh, and $70 is enough for AAA Premier RV for two people. You even get one 200 mile tow per person per year. So when I go on a road trip to Oklahoma to get parts for my Torino, and I throw a rod on the way home, I don't have to cough up $320 for a tow.