I promise I wash my hands before I pick 'em

Something odd is going on out in the garden. And it isn't only my garden. The neighbor's veggie plot is doing the same thing. Nothing.

I have tons of tomatoes or - as the national news media wants you to believe - Death Fruits©®TM. And there are a couple of watermelon on the vine. Everything else is a wash this year and I am about to give up. 3 varieties of beans and most days I can't find a single bean to pick. Last year I was picking a pound or two each day. Worst of all, my potatoes never bloomed. Which means not 'taters under ground.

The Boss Lady ate some of the Death Fruit©®TM the other night and she did not die. So evidently not only can I not grow beans this summer, I can't even grow salmonella.