Thursday, June 05, 2008


A few weeks back I started up an old hobby. I am trying to beat the man at his own game. The grocery store man.

Back in college I used to clip coupons like a beast. I loved to get a cart full of STUFF and only pay a few pennies on the dollar for the whole load. But the downfall to shopping at the stores with double and triple coupons is that I would end up buying stuff that we didn't really need, just because it was ridiculously cheap. Stocked up on a lot of carpet deodorizer that way.

Now a days I don't have the time or desire to clip coupons. Plus, we get all of our newspapers electronically, so the Sunday coupons don't show up anymore. So I am trying a revised tactic to get the good stuff cheap.

We have two chain grocery stores around here. The one where we do 90% of our shopping, without searching for specials or coupons, has fair prices an most everything in the store. The Other Store must be a mob controlled deal. They have crazy stupid prices posted on every item. But if you give up your phone, email, address, Diver's License number, firstborn and the deed to your house, they grant you with a savings card. With the card you get to pay prices that are only 15% higher than our usual hang out.

But along with the stupid high prices and the dumb shopper's card, this store does loss leader items once a week. Things that are so cheap you come in for the sale and you end up buying lots extra.

But not this sucker. They kids and I got in, bought the five 'give away' items and left. 4 boxes of General Mills cereal for $6. 2 CASES of Dr Pepper for $9. 2 gallons of milk for $7 and steaks for $2 a pound. Guess what I am eating tonight!?!

The best part of the trip? This store tries to have all the bells and whistles for shopper convenience. So they have specially designed carts for the kiddies. Complete with a 7inch monitor showing Wonder Pets or The Backyardigans. So my kids? Silent. Not a peep. For 20 minutes. And unlike other stores where I have seen these carts, this store lets us use them AT NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE - cause nothing is free, right?.

Still, even though they kept my kids happy with their high dollar cart, I stuck to the game plan. I even walked back in to cash in a coupon I had left in the car. But it was worth $4, so the 2 minute walk was worthwhile. All tolled, the receipt for this morning's shopping/entertainment, $100.10. But we cruised out of there for a reasonable $51.80.

I can hardly wait until next Thursday's grocery ad...

And for the record? The shopper's card? I lied. Bum phone number, bad email addy. And I made up a fake home address. When I signed up, I "forgot" my driver's license that morning. Since then I have lost the card, but they let you use your phone number to access the savings. And I still remember that fake phone number, 12 years later.


LiteralDan said...

lolololol I love that ending
Screw the man!

I love saving money, so much I just start to tear up when I think about it... sniffle
I'm gonna go away now and watch some videos of people getting hit in the nuts or something, to get past this.

Terry said...

I always hit the buy one get one free racks at the front of the store!! I should have enough carpet fresh to never have to wash my socks again!!

The Father of Five said...

You should have known that the "Mob Controled Store" would have a police dispatcher "in their pocket"...

I have been in contact with them about the fake discount card...

Be careful next time you start your car... (Although, I did specifically instruct "them" to leave Marge out of this messy issue...)

Anonymous said...

you've lost me at grocery!

hate shopping!!!

Mike said...


I'll just give therm your addy and email next time I am in there, OK?