Thursday, September 09, 2004

What Are YOU Getting Her?

So AtHomeDaddy is ready to head to the flower shop, because it is our anniversary and I am not a total jerk. I am a mid-level jerk, there is a difference. A mid-level jerk only forgets his wife's birthday once, a total jerk blows it every year.

Kid #1 in the minivan, watching the recycling truck do its thing out front. Kid #2, on the floor of the living room, waiting for a lift to the car and playing with AtHomeDaddy's car keys.

Car keys??? Awww heck, I hope the front door is not locked. I'll just try it. Maybe it is not locked.


Back door is not locked. Woo Hoo. Run around the house. Twist the knob and

Damn. Deadbolted.

Garage doors. No worries. Into the garage and back on easy street.

Damn. Locked. Both of them. Double Damn.

Guess I should have not griped at The Boss Lady for leaving the garage doors unlocked yesterday.

House key at the neighbors? Yeah, but they are out of town and the key to their house is INSIDE, nice try.

Kid #2 now crying on the floor of living room and the recycling truck is gone, so Kid #1 is now in the driver's seat honking the horn and flashing the hazard lights.

OK, desperation time. Just give the door a push and see if it gives. It is a 20 year-old tract home.

Well, not too much damage, just a broken door frame and trim. Stinks that my house was that east to break into, but we are on the way, now. There is a hardware store on the way to the florists, so back to no worries.

Kid #2 into her car seat. Keys in AtHomeDaddy's hand this time. Kid#1 in his seat. AtHomeDaddy in his seat. Keys in the ignition.

Turn the key and nothing. NUTHIN, NADA, ZIP.

Damn. Damn. Damn-ity Damn.

I do not know much about cars, but I do know this - turn the key and drive away.

Not today.

So Boss Lady, you might be expecting flowers or a visit. Sorry. Hope this explains most of the reasons why it is not happening today.

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