Since when did getting sick take so much work?

The Princess was up half of the night barfing. So she is getting banished from the Halloween festivities tonight. She and I will stay home in case any wayward trick-or-treaters end up on our dead end street looking for candy.

Since we will be here tonight, instead of hanging out across town with the cousins, I had to get busy out front this morning. I had to sweep the driveway to make sure the gravel from my exploded pathway does not cause a little kid to fall. Then I had to repair the exploded walkway.

It exploded when I knocked over the retaining wall with my truck about a month ago. Once the wall fell, the gravel has slowly taken over our driveway. As of this morning, the wall is repaired and the pathway is contained once more.

After the hard work was over, we got busy carving our pumpkins. One regular "not scary" pumpkin face as requested by The Princess and one vampire "frowning face scary guy" pumpkin, chosen by The Talker.

I carved his from the bottom up. Instead of taking off the top and cleaning out the pumpkin guts, I cut off the bottom and cleaned it out. Now the vampire pumpkin can sit right on top of one of our landscape lights, no candle needed. Next year I think I'll carve them all like this. Assuming I remember for an entire year.

I think we are now ready for Halloween. But I still think it would have been easier to just turn the porch lights and drive across town.

I was going to

post a few pictures of Halloween costumes past. But then I saw some of my favorite pictures and I wanted to share them instead.

About Halloween-ed out

The kids have gone to two carnivals this weekend. One at church was a big deal with carnival rides and games and all of the good stuff. The other was a smaller event at the YMCA. Games, candy, pumpkin decorating and hot dogs.

I think it was a toss up as to which one the kids liked more. They had to wait in longer lines at our church carnival, but they got to ride on a Ferris wheel and big rocket swings. The Y gave out t-shirts and they got to bring home the pumpkin they decorated. And best of all, when they wore their new t shirts to bed, the pumpkin design glows in the dark! Cool!

They also got to wear their costumes tonight to church. But we skipped two other events this afternoon. The neighborhood costume parade is usually fun, but we passed this year. And The Princess and I were scheduled to go to a Halloween party at the children's museum. After a busy weekend, I really did not want to play nice with strangers, so we skipped out on that, too.

Tuesday is the big night. Trick-or treating for real. We are planning to make it a family affair, driving across town so that the kids can haunt their cousin's neighborhood.

Uniqua is gonna mess you up.

You better make with the candy, or the gruesome twosome is going to tag-team your house.

For those of you without pre-schoolers, this is Uniqua.

Road trip route options

I have been considering a few different routes for my road trip to camp with Rick. The first route is the most direct and shortest. Plus, JB is sitting in LA, just waiting for me to come visit so I'll probably head that way. I see enough of the freeway between here and Dallas, so that route isn't happening, regardless of what Google says.

The mileage isn't correct on the hyperlinked maps, because I did not spend a lot of time tracing the exact route.

The most likely route. Also the most direct route, through Shreveport, LA. Right past JB's house and the casinos. (860 miles)

The least likely route. Through Dallas, Google's preferred route. I already see enough of the freeway between here and Dallas. So I will be going another way. (920 miles)

If JB isn't home, I'll make one side of the trip on this route. Along the Gulf coast, to Mobile and north through Alabama.(990 miles)

A little shorter route than following the coast all the way to Mobile, AL. Along the coast, heading north to Meridian, MS then catching I-20. (930 miles)

At least she said "No."

Is it bad that when The Boss Lady called to tell me she was on her way home, two hours early, that my response was...

Why? Didya get fired?

And they expect me to help them get dressed?

I just looked over my shoulder and saw a usual sight. One child is wearing a shirt, underwear and no pants. The other child is wearing pants but no shirt. And no one in the house ever has on shoes or socks.

I would brag that I am fully dressed, except that I just realized a few minutes ago that I have been wearing my underwear inside out since 6:45 this morning.

OK, now that you have TMI, you can return to your lives.

Me make smoke! And lots of it...

No, I am not spending another day on my fire starting skills. At least not on purpose.

But I did hope to get the car washed while the kids napped. I also wanted to eat lunch while they slept. Stupidly, I tried to do both at once.

Frozen pizza, with extra toppings carefully added, put into the oven on 450 degrees with the timer set for 9 minutes. Perfection on a plate for lunch.

Less than 5 minutes later, I forgot about the pizza and headed outside to set up the power washer. Bucket, rags, soap, power washer. Let's wash.

When I was rinsing the last of the soap off of the car, at least 15 minutes later, I heard buzzing. First, I thought the fluorescent light in the garage was on the fritz again. Then I realized the noise was coming from inside the house.

Open the door from the garage and like a stinky cloud of smoke, amid the noise of two smoke detectors going off outside the kid's bedrooms, I remembered the pizza.

Alarms quieted, oven off, pizza tossed outside. Boy rescued from the noise and sister still snoozes away the afternoon.

One part of all this isn't really funny. The boy heard the noise and was too scared to come out of his room. Guess we need to work on some more family fire drills.

Especially if I am going to be doing the cooking...

Me make fire. Almost

Rick threw down a challenge for our upcoming camping trip, make fire without a match or a lighter. So I got busy on this prehistoric activity, by Googling it, of course. The first result caught my attention, because it seems likely that I would have a Dr Pepper can with me on a trip.

Yesterday, while the family went to an elementary school carnival, I stayed home to watch some football. And to polish a Dr Pepper can. After more than hour trying to polish with toothpaste and rags, I got the can nice and clean, but not mirror-like. So I cheated and pulled out some metal polish. After 30 minutes working on it with the polish, it was as shiny as I was going to get it.

This is the can, before I started

And after polishing

I was using a bamboo some small leaf bits as tinder, and I used a split bamboo skewer to hold the leaves in the most focused point of light. The can/mirror was focusing a good beam of light, but after a half hour, I saw no smoke or flame, so I switched to use dryer lint for my tinder. Still no dice 30 minutes later.

Trying to prove to myself that it was possible, I snagged the wife's bathroom mirror. Within 10 seconds I set the lint and skewer on fire, using the mirror. Cool!

All in all, my polishing was sub-par. But the polished can might be good enough to use as an emergency signal mirror. Just like starting a fire without matches, though, I hope I never find out for real.

Old school camping

I ventured up in the attic this evening to bring down my backpacking gear. Turned into a fun evening, remembering past trips. Sadly, most of this stuff hasn't been out of the storage crates in 10 years.

I resisted moving the crates to the attic until just a couple of years ago, because storing my gear up there seemed almost equivalent to putting it in a yard sale. I was resigned to the fact that once it was all stowed nicely overhead, it would be a while before it came out again. At least when it was on our closet floor, and then later in the garage, near the washing machine, I looked at the crates often. But up in the attic, the gear was out of the way and out of mind.

I found lots of goodies. My compass, my grandpa's cookset, a group cookset that Pops gave me, a couple of different stoves and about a half dozen flashlights. All left over from different adventures.

In another crate I found the last of my bike-camping gear. Stuff that hasn't been used since I was 22 years old. Packs and bike tubes and repair kits from a time when I decided to move to my summer job by mountain bike. A time when I was about 50 pounds lighter and able to ride 50 miles a day, sleep on the ground and STILL ride the next day.

Tonight I am trying to burn off the remaining decade old gas from my camping stove. I was surprised that it lit without any effort, even though I know the gas bottle was last filled in the spring of 1995. I want to make sure that it is filled with new fuel for this next trip.

Kind of like the way seeing all of this stuff energizes me and makes me want to run for the hills with 40 pounds on my back.

I just don't get it

I am making plans for a trip to see Rick. I am still trying to decide if I will drive the 2000 round trip, and get a few extra days of peace and quiet, or if I will fly to save some time. I am not really big on flying, but if it is cheaper, then it is a no brainer...

I spent some time on the travel websites this morning and it looks like driving will be a little cheaper, but not by much. Maybe $200 once you add in meals on the road and taxes at the airport. But I give up two days of quiet, getting to listen to CDs and mp3s that I chose. Surely days like that go for more than $100 a piece.

One thing cracks me up about flying. Since there are no direct flights from here to there, some airlines would route me through Memphis or Houston. Makes sense, since those cities are in the general direction of my destination. Some flights overshoot and connect in Atlanta, GA. And they are some of the cheapest flights. Huh? You are taking me 300 miles out of the way and it is cheaper?

The biggest surprise, besides the fact that it is possible to book a first class flight for only $1600, is that a few of the flights connect through Chicago. Isn't that like a thousand miles out of the way? And it is one of the cheaper possible flights?

Let's see, sitting in Chicago, on a flight to Alabama from Texas... Sounds to me like the pilot is planning ahead to get lost on the way. No thanks, I can do that in my own car.

It would be a lot funnier if it had happened to one of them

The Princess and I spent the better part of 90 minutes in the bathroom at the Pediatrician's office this morning. I was trying anything I could think of to get her to pee in a specimen cup.

Bribery with suckers and stickers, check. Juice from the pharmacy next door, check. Letting the sink run to provide some background noise, check. Washing her hands with warm water, you betcha. Did it all.

Finally I gave up. The nurse hooked us up with a to-go bag, a specimen cup to take home. As we were loading in the car, she let loose. Luckily the puddle landed in the parking lot and not on me or in her brand new car seat.

We ran back in to change into dry clothes. The nurses, who had watched our potty parade all morning long, all got a laugh at my expense. And me? I still have to play collection agent this afternoon. And then I get to drive it back across town.

Yeah for me.

That's dam funny, right there

The AtHomeTrio went to the children's museum this morning. They have a new wildlife exhibit that we wanted to check out. While we were there, The Talker kept playing with a scene of animals and their riverfront homes. He was especially fascinated by the beaver dam.

"Look dad, I dammed the river. Dam it good!
Now the dam is on a tree. Look at my dam tree!
Now its on a log, look at this dam log.
Look at those bears. I crammed them in the dam. Dammed those bears!"

And he went on like this for about ten minutes. Now if you know the boy, you know that he is a little short on being quiet. In fact, he talks damn loud. And the quieter you try to make him, the quieter he ain't.

So I just let him run his course and tried not to make eye contact with any of the other parents. And not surprisingly, shortly thereafter, we came home for lunch.

That's going to hurt

I hit the gym tonight for the first time in a long time, sadly. August was just too busy, with The Boss Lady starting the school year in her brand new school. So I only made it up there a couple of times. And now today is the 16th, and this is the first time this month I made it in.

September, you ask? I don't know where it went. But I never made it into the gym the entire month of September. And I now have 5 extra pounds to prove that fact.

Tonight The Boss Lady took the kids swimming and I hit the gym. 25 minutes on the elliptical machine and then a couple of sets on 13 different resistance machines. I backed off the weights to where I started, back in July. So maybe that will keep the sore muscles at bay.

Yeah, right. Remind me of that in the morning, when I can't get out of bed.

I was brought to action this weekend, when Rick invited me on a November weekend camping/hiking trip with some of his buddies in Tennessee. I would feel really bad if I drove 1000 miles to camp and then had a stroke on the trail and Rick and four guys I don't know had to drag my fat corpse out of the woods.

So I hit the gym. And I plan to do it again in a few days, if I can still move a muscle in the morning.

Now pass the Advil, will you?

The migration patterns of STUFF...

In college I had a book of quotes that I would refer to often. They were great for speech classes or just for useless trivia. One of the quotes I remember and have held dear follows:

A pile for everything and everything in its pile...

Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger, M*A*S*H 4077

So this afternoon I decided to give the robot a little help. I started sweeping the living room and dining rooms so that the little Roomba would not have so much work to do. Problem is, all of the STUFF. I sent at least 8 pair of shoes down the hall, a dozen pair of socks to the laundry, tons of picture books and puzzles to the mantle and the rest of the stuff went onto the rug in the middle of the living room.

And now, the sweeping and mopping are done, the little robot is cleaning up my left overs and the STUFF sits on the rug. When the rest of the floors are clean enough, it will be time to move the pile and let the robot have a chance at the rug.

This would be the perfect time to actually put all of this crap away, right? But why does it never seem to happen that way? I'll start with the shoes. Easy enough to sort into proper places. But by the time I really get rolling on the STUFF, something will come up and the pile will sit.

Oh, it may get moved off of the rug. It is a pretty rug, and I hate seeing it all cluttered up. But when it does get moved, I'll bet that less than 50% of this junk actually lands in it's proper place. Most of it will migrate to a more remote corner of the living room, to be dealt with later.

Or, at least to be moved back to the rug, later. When the robot needs some room to run.

I wanna ROCK! (the baby)

Kid's music is a lot cooler than I ever knew. Don't know how I missed it, but there is evidently a whole series of lullaby music for the little rocker in the house.

You want your baby to jam to Metallica? Amazon can hook you up? Got a grunge baby? They can roll out the Nirvana.

Classic rockin' the baby to sleep? How about some Led Zepplin? Or is your little hard core toddler more of a modern rocker? Maybe a little Coldplay or Radiohead will soothe her to sleep.

The Boss Lady found the Metallica disc on sale at Best Buy. We had no idea there was a whole series dedicated to our little rocking toddlers.

Now, won't some of these bands return the favor? If the Wigggles had a Marilyn Manson backbeat I might be able to handle more than a few minutes at a time. Just think of the possibilities...

Metallica could really jam out on Crunchy Munchy Honey Cakes. Or Megadeth could thrash out to Oscar the Grouch's You're Beautiful (Just As You Are).

Anybody know how to get a hold of Kid Rock? I bet he could really kick some ass on Isa Turn the Wheel.

Can't sleep. Must Blog.

Wide awake before sunrise. So I started cruising the net then I ended up in my own archives. So here are a few posts from the past that still make me smile:

Please Don't Shoot the Armadillos
The Voices I Hear
Did ya know?
The Talker Gone Wild
Breaking News - Awwww Sh*t!
One of my proudest moments
Is this really it?
How to Dismantle All Feelings of Youth

Wanna cause a mild panic?

Be a good looking white guy, late 30's, carry around an extra 20 pounds or so...

Then call your wife at work one morning and tell her your chest and neck hurt really bad and that you are short of breath...

Pass the kids off on a neighbor so that you can go the hospital...

For fun, get a little nauseous and dizzy while you are waiting for your wife to come home to drive you to the ER...

And just wait till you see how fast the Emergency Room staff jump when you come slinking in complaining of chest pains and the rest of the above symptoms and being a goooooooood looking fat white guy.

Anyways, all is well now. Back home after a morning in the ER. Did not get a good explanation from the docs. But all blood work and tests looked OK.

Which is good for me. Because I sorta like being a fat, handsome white guy.

An odd mix of stops

This morning I was really not wanting to stay at home. I wanted to get out of the house for some fun and adventure. Or at least some exercise.

I planned last night to head over to the Y for a morning swim. But last Thursday, during the time that was scheduled for family swim time, there was a swim lesson going on, so we only got to stay in the pool a few minutes. I don't know if it was a one time deal or if the printed schedule is wrong, but I decided it wasn't worth disappointing the kids a second time.

So we headed to the opposite side of town and strolled around Cabela's. The kids are always up for the trip down there. They love the laser shooting gallery, so we usually spend more money in there than on anything else. And like usual, as soon as we spent all of our gallery tokens and checked out the animal displays, the kids were ready to leave.

We stopped at Chick-fil-a on the way home and I hoped that some time on the playscape would wear them out. But it got crowded in there and the kids were ready to hit the road pretty soon.

As we were driving through town I remembered a friend telling about how his daughters love to go to the Texas Memorial Museum. We detoured to the museum and the kids had a great time. Well worth the $2 we had to pay to park.

The Talker loved the Pterosaur and The Princess really liked the Onion Creek Mosasaur.

Me? I really dug the Glen Rose Dinosaur Tracks that they have on exhibit outside of the building. That and the stairs. Beautiful winding staircases that take visitors between the four different exhibit floors. They are very nice.

Plus, the stairs are great at wearing the kids out. After climbing up and down the stairs, both kids were snoozing in the car on the way home.

There is more than one of me...

Tonight I am heading out on the town. The local Stay at Home Dads group is gathering at a local watering hole for a Dad's Night Out. A once a month chance for the dads to gather without a diaper bag in sight.

I usually end up missing DNO because of other scheduling conflicts or because I am just to wiped out to get myself dressed. But tonight I am heading over early. And hopefully staying late.

And to add to the excitement of a free night, I am going to cruise over in the truck. That is one of the real perks of DNO. The dads that have project cars usually bring them out for that one night. And tonight is the truck's unveiling.

What do you bet that the other dads will be jealous of me and Marge? By the way, just in case you haven't seen it lately, here she is, in all her multi-colored glory.

I think the milk has gone bad...

and it is affecting the baby's brain.

The Princess jumped up from breakfast and ran across the room to look at a picture on the computer. Then she floored me with her commentary:

"That is a picture of me when I was in jail. I had juice in jail. When I was in jail the police officer took me to jail."

Now as far as I know, she never has been arrested. I don't think she has even gotten a jay walking ticket. But I guess anything is possible when she is running around town with her brother and mommy.

Working the boy

This afternoon The Talker and I drove our truck over to Home Depot. Hard to believe, but after having it 18 months, this is our first trip to HD in the truck. Anyways, we bought 20 bags of mulch for the flower beds and trees.

While we were there, the boy had a job to do. He counted the bags as we loaded them onto the cart and then made sure we got all 20 loaded into the truck. Then he had to pick out the best looking plants for his little garden plot beside the playscape.

After he wakes from nap we will plant two mum plants, one yellow and one purple and his very own rosemary plant. The kids won't touch a veggie, but they both love fresh rosemary and oregano. We already have several of each plant, but he really wanted one of "my very own".

Once Home, I got most of the mulch spread in the front yard. While I was at it, I cleaned up and weeded all of the flowerbeds. Then I got the front yard mowed.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, my boy helper disappeared to take a nap.

Smart kid.

It was one of those days

that makes you feel like a real great parent.

The boy got sent to bed early for being too rough with his sister. And his dog. And his mom. And his dad. Some friends at the park, one who already has a broken arm. Pretty much anyone or anything he came in contact with today.

So instead of bitching and complaining anymore, I give you video of a day that was more fun, from back in August.

I can't wait.... 55!

5 weeks, 5 days Until Cars comes out on DVD.

Thanks to KB for the head's up. We went to the Disney store and pre-ordered a copy, widescreen edition of course.

When you pre-order at the Disney Store, they give you a set of 4 small posters and a folder/poster that shows all of the Cars characters. Online, you get a $10 gift card with your order.

We will be framing the posters and hanging them in The Talker's room. Or my room. Whatever.

Maybe I should eBay it...

'Cause I sure won't be needing this for a while.

Print it out and make your own AtHomeDaddy Halloween mask!
But I am not responsible if it gives your children nightmares...

Plus, seems to not be much competition on eBay if you search for used hair gel. I could corner the market.

A surprise guest

Maria came home while The Law Talking Guy was watching the house over the weekend.

The Talker wanted to take a his bath in our tub. I send him in and he comes streaking into our bedroom and yells. "Where did you get that cool paining?"

I started cracking up and went into the bathroom to find Maria staring back at me from the shower, in all of her velvety, nekkid glory. So now that Maria is home, I have to bide my time. She needs to get back over to The Law Talking Guy's house, but not until I find the perfect time.

We really need a new house/dog sitter. Preferably one that I have not hassled with a soft porn black velvet painting.

So I now present to you, most of Maria. I gave her a nice bikini to keep this a respectable place.

The Talker Takes You to the Fair

As we were making our way out of the fairgrounds I handed off the digital camera to The Talker. These are a few of his shots:

Horses

A cool golf cart

Sister's hair

A kid's view of the crowd

Want more? Go here to see all of The Talker's fair photos.
Or
Go here to see the rest of the fair photos, taken by me and The Boss...

Scenes from the road

Why you should never… take the highway painter out for drinks over lunch.

Click on the pictures to get a bigger view of my tax dollars at work...

Our Day at the State Fair

The main thing to know, if you ever venture to the Texas State Fair: bring cash. Lots of small denomination bills. And if you think you have enough money with you, go ahead and grab a little more at the ATM before you hit the fairgrounds.

Thanks to one of The Mother of the BrideÂ’s friends, we had great tickets in hand before we arrived. What made these tix great? They were free. $0 invested.

We got to the fair early to make sure we were able to rent a stroller big enough for both kids. $10 for close parking and $15 for the stroller. And we had not even made it in the main gate, yet.

As soon as we got inside the park, the kids hopped in line for a kidÂ’s activity and I headed over to the coupon booth to hand over more of The Boss Lady's hard earned money. $20 for food, drink and ride tickets. Now we are $45 into the day and we have been at the fair for 15 minutes. Ouch!

The kids did some farming and then we hit the petting zoo. We dropped a couple of bucks there, for food for the goats and emus. Then we watched a Frisbee dog show, brought to you by TXU and Purina, while we ate an early lunch of corny dogs. Bought with coupons of course, because your money ainÂ’t not no good here, mister.

At some point during the morning I found three bucks worth of coupons on the ground. So we spent them. No, I donÂ’t have any remorse for not turning them over to the proper authorities.

After the dog show, The Talker really wanted to go check out the Kid Fishing area, brought to you by Toyota trucks. So we meandered across the grounds to find the pool where they were stocking catfish for kids to torment with live grubs. It was almost exactly like shooting fish in a barrel, except there were no guns. Instead Toyota trucks provided short rods without reels and bobbers with Toyota logos on them.

Our kids didnÂ’t land any catfish, but while we were there a 10 year old hooked one, proving that it could be done. Big fun AND free.

We actually kept cash in our pockets for a little while. After the free fishing frenzy, brought to you by Toyota trucks, we headed over to check out the master of card stacking, brought to you by MetroPCS.

After we left the CardStacker, we headed over to the Kidway, the midway for kids, brought to you by The Boss Lady, because believe me, the coupons came out on the midway. $10 more in coupons got us two ride for The Princess, Three rides for The Talker. Later, for $4 in cash, the kids each got to play one game. Both of them won the smallest stuffed toys ever made.

Once we bought more coupons, we got a junk food fix for everyone. And that concluded our coupon adventure at the fair. $32.50 worth of tickets bought, $35.50 worth of tickets spent and $9.34 worth of goods and services received. A fair trade.

We spent another $10 on drinks before we left the fair, but we were able to use cash for that purchase. Apple juice, milk and a couple of Dr Peppers. Now that is a good use of $10.

On our way out, we stopped by the Dallas Police DepartmentÂ’s Mounted Patrol stables. They have a small chroniclingonicling the history of the Mounted Patrol and the K9 units. The Boss LadyÂ’s grandfather was a member of the Dallas PDs mounted patrol until he retired. And The Boss Lady found a picture of him in one of the exhibits. Cool! And free.

We made stops at a couple of vendors as we walked to the gate. The Boss Lady got some freebie shirts, backpacks, books and bookmarkers for the kids at her school from a group promoting the new Charlotte'’s Web movie that should come out this winter.

At the last stop of the day the kids got candy for throwing newspapers at a target. And in case you wondered, the papers, targets and candy were brought to them by The Dallas Morning News.

In the end, we all had a blast. But I am not adding up all the costs, because I don't want to cry.

Train Day

The kids and I cannot pass up a chance to ride the trains in Dallas. So this afternoon, The AtHomeFamily, three nieces and The Mother of the Bride went out riding the rails.

We caught the train in North Dallas, after an accidental detour to Plano, thanks to a highway that I am sure wasn't there the last time I cruised through this side of Dallas. Anyways, the kids had fun going downtown. Everyone was tired and a little cranky by the time we got back to the car but we made it back to TMotB's house with the same number of kids and adults, so evidently it was a successful trip.

Now The Boss Lady is getting the kiddos ready for bed and I am hanging out at McDonald's stealing bandwidth from some poor sucker in the apartments across the street.

Thanks for the email fix, dude. Now go buy yourself some encryption.

Life on the road

It has been a busy 48 hours.

The Boss Lady and The Princess took a one way flight out of town on Friday afternoon. Now, as far as I know that isn't something I should worry about. After all, she left the boy.

This is the second year that the wife and daughter were on a race team in support of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition's Walk for the Whisper. Their team raised a couple of thousand bucks for the NOCC.

Simultaneously, 250 miles away, the boy and I spent Friday night trying to camp out in the backyard. And howling at the moon. We ended up in the house, but not until almost midnight.

We would have stayed up later, but he had an 11 soccer game on Saturday morning. So we had a restful morning then went to battle with the red team. The Talker scored a goal. His first. He also scored one on his team's goal later in the game. But he still does not want to talk about that...

As soon as the game was over, we drove up to UNT to catch a football game.

As we were driving through Ft Worth, we passed an air show and got to pull over on the high way and watch The US Air Force Thunderbirds perform. We were too far away to hear the jets, but close enough to see the entire performance. Super Cool!

It was fun cruising the old campus and showing my old haunts to the boy. He was not impressed. And I was a little blue, because Crumley Hall, one a haven of upperclassmen (and women, hubba hubba) who participated in all sorts of evil and carnal activities while we ran up our parent's credit cards, is now a women's dorm. It is very pretty now and smells NOTHING like it used to. Sad. Very sad.

Still, the boy and I sat in Procrastination Corner, a nook in the lobby where my crew and I spent most of our non-class hours (and quiet a few class-time hours) and creeped out the Co-eds for a little while. Which happens to be almost exactly what me and my buddies did when we sat in Procrastination Corner, now that I think about it.

Edit: Monday 10/2/06 - It just gets worse. Today in the paper, I saw that our old greasy spoon dive of a cafeteria has gone healthy. How are these skinny little kids going to survive college while they are eating salads?

We watched the first half of the game and then we headed to The Mother of the Bride's house to hang out with three of The Boss Lady's nieces. The Talker actually chose to leave the game early. He was excited to play with his cousins.

And I was excited to get to The Mother's house, too, because I had not checked my email in almost two days. Alas, not a single unprotected wireless network was within range.

So this morning I sit blogging in the parking lot of a computer repair shop. It was simply the first hot spot I could find. We are definitely not at home. The WiFi cloud there is so thick you can almost touch it. Here, not.

In the morning we are headed to the state fair. Big Tex, corn dogs, a petting zoo and a huge car exhibit hall. What more could a boy or his dad want?

Just in case you wondered, the wife and daughter are looking forward to the fair, too.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add, that somewhere during the weekend my almost bald brother became The Sibling with the 2nd Most Hair. I got tired of seeing all of the grey hair and I fixed it. No grey to be seen. Or red or blond. Shaved. Smooth.

Last time I shaved my head, I had lost a bet with a 7 year old. This time, it was just me and the razor. The razor won.

I've got neighbors in high places

A couple of mornings back, the kids and I were headed downtown. But as we pulled out of the driveway I noticed a neighbor's garage door up, but her car was not in the garage. I was worried that she had driven off to work and forgotten to close her garage door.

So I checked to make sure she wasn't home and then I tried to get her garage door to close. Turns out it was seriously out of adjustment and would only close for a second and then it would pop right back open.

But like good suburban neighbors, I only knew this neighbor's name. I had no clue how to get in touch with her. Heck, I did not even know her last name.

All through the day I kept an eye on the open garage without anything exciting happening. When the neighbor got home the kids and I wandered over there to see if I could help her get the garage door working. And with the help of one of my buddies, we got it working just fine in only a few minutes.

When talking to the neighbor I found out that she works at one of the biggest advertising firms in town. This afternoon, when I went out to check the mail, I almost tripped over a stack of magazines. The neighbor brought us a load of sports magazines, cooking mags, kid and family magazines and even a couple of women's mags for The Boss Lady, I guess.

The kids are in heaven and now I think we will have to get a subscription to Nick Jr Magazine. And me? I curled up with a copy of this week's Sports Illustrated this evening while watching Auburn beat up on South Carolina. Laying around in my drawers, watching football and reading SI. Now I really feel like a MAN!

But I admit it. I am a little bit sad that there were not any magazines about robotic house cleaning.

I think I have a crush on the robot

Three times today we have ventured outside to play. Each time I have set up my upgrade to clean a little more of the house.

And now, at the end of the afternoon, the kids are just waking up from naps and our floors are clean. A feat that has not been accomplished in four years. Until he was a year old, the boy could sleep through the vacuum cleaner, Lil' Sis never could. So sweeping became the best option for cleaning during naptime.

And you and I both know that ain't happening very often when I am on duty.

Anyways, our little 'bot has done a nice job. And now the Roomba deserves a little respect. So help me out. This hard working robot needs a name. A couple of options so far:

Sucka
Harry
Mike 2.0

So help a fat lazy man and a round short robot out and send us some suggestions over to help name my new bestest friend.

Well, I did not see that one coming... I got replaced by a robot!

The Boss Lady has mentioned getting a new rug for our living room a couple of times lately. Since it is a pretty big room with tile floors, it is nice to have a big area rug near the couches. But the big rugs are either expensive or ugly or both expensive and ugly. So we have gone without one for a while.

This weekend she saw a rug that she liked in a Kohl's add. And it was on sale for half price. So off to the department store we went this evening.

As soon as we walked into the store I knew something was up. We have looked at rugs in there before but the wife was heading to the opposite side of the store. She just bought shoes, so I wasn't sure why we were stopping between footwear and small appliances. Then she told me "I want to look at a vacuum they have on sale."

Turns out, she really wanted to check out the Roomba vacuums. So after I offered my sincere opinion about the futility of a little round robot battling the accumulated crud in our house, and made one smart-assed comment about the number of truck parts we could buy for the same money, the Roomba went right into the basket. We got the rug, too. Would not want the Roomba to get bored just cleaning tile and concrete floors, now would we?

So tonight we sit here, mesmerized by the little round machine that is getting a job done that I should have finished some time last week. And the week before... But this way is a lot more entertaining because the pets don't know what to think about the Roomba. One cat runs, one cat stares and the dog just looks annoyed.

After watching this thing go for an hour, I am assuming it was invented by a stay at home dad. Who else would understand the need for a vacuum to have a remote control. Besides, what other cleaning products can you use while sitting on the couch watching Sports Center and drinking a cold brew?

If we get bored with the Roomba, we can always get a costume for it. Or we can hack into it and try to take over the world. Or at least this end of the street. The batteries might need to be recharged too often for an all out assault on the neighborhood.

You know, I really wanted to make fun of The Boss Lady for buying the Roomba. I really did, I SWEAR! But it really is cool AND, technically, I bought it. They were giving 20% if you opened up a new credit account. Since she already had an account, the wife was ineligible for the discount. So I got the new credit line, the rug and the vacuum. Yeah for me!

Now get out of my way, I have to go vacuum. 'Cause Sports Center is only on for three more hours tonight and my drink is getting warm.

Edit: Should I take it personally that on the first run of the Roomba, it eventually gave up in the kitchen? The collection bin and brushes were full and the status light on the robot was flashing yellow, which indicated that it abandoned it's cleaning mission.

Damn. Our damn house is so damn dirty that a damn robot won't even clean it. Guess I'll get out the mop and a damn broom.

Right after Sports Center and another beer.

Wireless workaround

Other than trying to swap out telephone jacks, I haven't had time to track down any of the problems we are having inside our walls. The phone jack transplant did not work, so it is time to do some more extensive exploratory surgery. But this week looks to be pretty busy, too.

For the past couple of weeks I have been dragging a DSL cable to a phone jack across the living room. It made for a nice tripping hazard right in the entry hall. I picked up a cheap pci wireless card today for the family desktop computer.

Now I have the modem and router stashed out of sight in another room. And most importantly, no more cables to trip over in the hall.

Glad that is out of my system

The Mazda Zoom-Zoom Live was a blast. Speeding around in borrowed cars rules! And I proudly wear my nametag with one corner chopped of.

The staff would clip a corner of your nametag if you were driving too aggressively on a track. Two corners clipped and they would send you home.

Anyways, I wiped out a row of cones in a MazdaSpeed 6 Sport. All wheel drive, dynamic stability control and a turbo charged beast of an engine. But I still managed to almost spin the car. COOL!

Besides that, the MX5 is a fun little car. The RX8 is too cramped to enjoy and the Mazda 3 is not as much fun to drive as the CX-7

By the way, that is me driving the MazdaSpeed 6 Sport in the picture. Check out that pineapple shirt!

Ready to Zoom-Zoom

Early on Saturday a couple of friends and I are heading to Zoom-Zoom Live, a Mazda test drive program that is making a tour stop in Dallas. We have to be there near 8am. It is a 3 1/2 hour drive without stops. That early in the morning I'll be needing a Dr Pepper stop, so we are leaving somewhere near 4 in the morning. The boys are in for a treat, my early morning driving skills will surely keep them awake.

This afternoon I detailed the Saturn. Actually, the drive was just a good excuse. I am tired of driving a V6 powered trash pile, so the car was getting cleaned anyways.

My ride is shiny and clean now and for at least a few weeks few weeks, the kids are cut off from eating in the car.

A side note: I was checking fluids and admiring the shiny engine compartment when I noticed a big chunk of rubber laying loose near the windshield. When I looked closer at it, I realized it is a baseball sized chunk of a truck tire. I saw, and heard, it hit the car on our trip to Ft Worth, earlier in the week. It scared crud out of me.

Glad it wasn't a rock, or our windshield would have needed more than Windex this afternoon.

Riding the rails and the roads

The AtHomeTrio made it home from a few days at The Queen Mother's house this afternoon. Nothing too exciting to report on our trip. And that is great because that means no one got sick and no one went to the emergency room. Yeah for us!

While we were in Ft Worth I planned to drive the kids to Dallas to ride the light rail trains but Dad had a better idea. We hopped the commuter rail train in Ft Worth and rode to Dallas.



We were going to grab lunch and play for an hour and a half before boarding for our return trip. But by the time we got to downtown Dallas, the kids were tired, so we grabbed a quick snack in the train station and hopped back on the train. All told, we went about 60 miles on the train in 2 hours. The trains were nice two story cars, so the kids had a great view from the upper deck seats. Plus, it was not crowded at 10 am, so we did not disturb any commuters.

The rest of our time at Mom and Dad's we hung out at the house. Big fun for the kids since they have different toys to play with and for me, since grandparents make pretty good stay at home dad pinch hitters when I go down with a big time migraine.

Hitting the road

The kids and I are off on another adventure for a couple of days. May head to Dallas to ride the trains one day later in the week. But for now we are going to The Queen Mother's just to hang out.

Will report any excitement we find.

You guys are slobs!

The Princess woke up from nap with this commentary about our house cleaning abilities, after The Boss Lady spent a couple of hours sweeping and mopping, while The Talker and I ran off to the car show:

"Mommy, I have to tell you something... Come look. Somebody came in our house and cleaned the floors. They are all sparkly!"

The Talker's Point of View

I handed the boy our digital camera when we headed home from the car show this afternoon. I helped him take a couple of the cars while we were there, but I was too worried about him hitting a car with the camera to let him have free reign.

Here is what the boy thought photo worthy.

By the way, The Boy had a good time at soccer. He was worn out. Most thrilling part of the day: getting his Orange Flurries uniform. He is proud to wear #10. Game and practice pics will be up later. We shot a lot of pictures with the 35mm camera today, but no digital pics.

Soccer Star(t)

This weekend The Talker starts playing soccer. He is playing on a team of 4 and 5 year olds through the YMCA. They play 3 on 3 with no goalies and no score kept. It should be big fun.

The Y is being nice to the parents, too. In an effort to keep new soccer parents from getting burned out too quickly on schlepping the kiddos to practices and games, The Talker’s team will have a quick practice and then play a game right after that.

Only one drive to the soccer field per week. What a great league.

The added benefit is that the parents are already around for the games, so maybe they will help corral kids during practices, too. I know I’ll jump in wherever the team needs help.

The Talker has already experienced one of the most exciting parts of starting any new sport, buying the gear. We went yesterday and bought his soccer cleats, shin guards, and a new ball. The sporting goods store around the corner had a package deal with all of the stuff for $20. In the hardest decision of the day, he finally picked gear with blue and silver stripes.

The Princess was a little disappointed not to get a set of the soccer stuff with pink and silver stripes, but she got over the disappointment quickly.

The boy has hardly taken his cleats and shin guards off. In fact right now he is supposed to be practicing in the backyard, but I can clearly see him digging in the dirt pile that once was a garden. Imagine that. A kid playing in the dirt instead of playing soccer.

Like father like son, huh mom?

Family Truckin'

For the past year and a half or so, over on TruckinDaddy, I have documented the resurrection of my grandfather's old farm truck. And one of the first big pay offs came tonight.

We drove the truck to the YMCA to go swimming after dinner. The Talker rode with me over there and The Princess rode home with me. The Boss followed behind in her car, just in case something broke. This is the furthest we have driven the truck from the house.

Nothing did break, though, and we all had fun on our evening adventure.

Home repairs suck

This place is falling down around us, so it must be time to move. A week ago it rained. And water got into the phone lines. So we have been without reliable phones since then. But I really could care less, as long as the DSL line is still running.

So tonight the DSL crapped out. I spent an hour finding the problem. A bad phone jack, across the house from where I thought our phone problems are. And to add to the fun, there IS water getting into the phone line. But evidently not from rain.

The bad phone jack is inside the same wall as the water lines that serve our clothes washer. Crap. Crap. Crapity crap.

So either one of the water lines or the drain is leaking inside the wall. Either way, it should be a lot of fun inside there.

But instead of trying to round up the parts and pieces we need tonight, I just drug some cords across the house to get my DSL operational again.

But now that blogging is finished and the email has been checked, I guess it is time to bust out the drywall saw.

Where were you 4018 days ago?

The Boss Lady and I were getting hitched. Married. Joined in Holy matrimony. All that romantic crap.

Made even more special by the breath freshener spray I shot up my nose right before I kissed the bride. And the bloody nose I got running to the car after the reception.

Good times.

11 years. 2 kids. 2 more college degrees. 6 addresses, including 1 summer living in a tent trailer and 2 years in a basement apartment. 2 cats. 3 dogs. 6 different cars. 1 minivan. 1 SUV. 2 trucks. 1 boat.

It's been a hell of a ride. And I bet the next 11 years will be pretty interesting, too. At least I know it won't be a boring trip.

Hey Boss Lady, CBH and thanks for the fun.

Mazda Repair, Take 2

Thursday I posted on TruckinDaddy about some work I was starting on The Boss Lady's car. I picked up the parts this afternoon and got to work. Then a miracle happened. No, the car did not heal itself. It still needs a clutch master cylinder and slave cylinder.

The miracle went like this. I gave up an hour after I started. BEFORE I broke anything.

Turns out the dash needs to come out to remove the master cylinder. And I am not up to that challenge. I learned my lesson on her last car. The one time I tore into the dash on the black Escort, I never could get everything back in place correctly.

So the car is sitting at the repair shop over the weekend. They got most of the work done this afternoon, but since I did not take it to them until 4:15, I did not really expect them to finish before 6 p.m.

Guess it will be a good weekend to cruise the truck around a little.

Remote Blog

Waiting for results at the hospital is a lot easier with wireless access.

His first dirty joke. I am so P P proud

Last night before bed, The Talker was working on some alphabet puzzle cards. Each card has an a picture and the name of the item. When the puzzle cards are put together, the items on both the left and right sides begin with the same letter of the alphabet.

He was proud of himself while he was reading all of the words to me after he finished most of the cards. But then he stopped cold and I heard him giggle. Then I saw what he was laughing at, the 'P' card. Pizza on one side and pants on the other.

"They both start with P! P P!" The boy acted like this was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

For the next half an hour The Boss Lady and I laughed in the living room while he "P P-ed!" himself to sleep! Every few minutes, when we thought he was finally done and asleep, we would hear it again, "P P!"

The long road home

Every time we drive to or from Pop's house, we go the same way. It is a nice easy cruise mostly through the country. Yesterday we got an hour and a half into the trip and I detoured off of the regular route. I figured we were adding some time to our drive, but we could see something new in Texas.

And we found it. In Sheridan we found a small family owned water park,Splashway Family Waterpark. And the crowd did not look too bad for mid morning on Labor Day, so we decided to try it out.

The Talker was able to master every activity they offered, even the biggest slide in the place. The Princess loved floating around on a tube in the river that circled past all of the other areas. They had a live DJ who was playing music that kept the kids entertained the entire time.

This little place was spotless, The Disney parks could learn about keeping a park clean from these guys. Everything was reasonably priced and they will let families bring in picnics. An awesome three hour detour.

In the end we added about an hour to our drive time, but the kids had so much fun at the waterpark that they were worn out for the rest of the trip.

Fishing fun for everyone, or me at least

The weekend's fishing has been a success, even if most of the fish I caught were throwbacks, perch and small catfish. After two days I only kept one fish, a really nice black drum that will sit very nicely on my dinner plate this evening.

The most exciting fishing of the weekend happened Saturday afternoon, when I caught a 4 foot long black tip shark. Since I was by myself and I like my fingers, I set the black tip loose as quick as possible. This morning I caught a small stingray. It was pretty cool to check out, but like the shark, I set it free as quick as possible.

The kids and I will probably do a little more fishing this evening and then call it a weekend.

Bayside Blogging

We pulled into Pop's house a little while ago. No excitement on the drive except for the hillbillies who all thought I was driving with my high beams on the whole time. I kept hoping that we would smear enough bugs across the front of the car that my headlights would not bother the locals. No luck though.

I should be hitting the pier in a few minutes. Here fishy fishy.

No blogger access

I haven't been able to get into blogger all morning.  No big deal though.

 

We are getting packed up to head down to the coast for a weekend of fun and fishing as soon as The Boss Lady gets home from work.  Going down to Pops and gonna catch a couple of big ones while I sit across the bay from the family.

 

Some time over the weekend might have to all go over there though, so that the kids can ride Pop's tractor.

Apologies all around

I am sorry if we infected your kids this morning at the McDonald's on the freeway. I don't think any of The AtHomeTrio is contagious. But even if we are, too bad.

It was 80 degrees at 11:15 this morning. We played outside most of the morning with a neighbor and it was really cool at 9:00. But we have been hiding inside after 10:30 in the morning for the past month and a half, so we could not pass up our one chance to stay out until naptime.

After it rained yesterday, a cool front passed through and it stayed a little cooler. But this morning it was beautiful here. The kind of day my grandmother used to complain about. No she wasn't crazy.

She loved this town. And a gorgeous day like today was her favorite. While she was watching the world go by from her front porch, she often told me "Don't want too many days like this in a row. Days like this make people want to move here and there are already too many of them around.."

OK, no chicken pox

The Princess' suspected chicken pox are just a viral rash. Looks much better this morning. We are just taking it easy again today though, in case she decides to barf all over me again.

Don't cheer or you'll jinx it

It is raining! For the first time in like 50 days!

And it is coming down pretty good, too.

I always miss out on all of the fun

I left the kids with The Boss Lady at her office on Thursday afternoon as I headed home for a funeral. I arrived at Mom and Dad's 3 hours later with no hassles. After the visitation on Thursday night, I ended up talking with an old college buddy until 4 a.m.

Lucky for us KB brought breakfast by. Unluckily, he brought it at 8 a.m. After the funeral KB three of our college buddies and me visited until after dinner time. It was a nice reunion, 11 years too late. We hooted and hollered enough at the barbecue place that I think we scared the locals. And we swore an oath that it will not take death or 11 years for us to gather again.

Back at home The Boss Lady was dealing with a campus wide power outage and fire alarms that would not stop ringing - so therefore the students were all outside for 30 minutes. All while she and The Princess were sitting at the pediatrician's office, 25 miles away.

Friday night The Princess decided to take mommy on a field trip and they headed to the Children's hospital ER, thanks to a high fever. The Mother of the Bride was here with The Talker, so at least he was able to sleep through the trip.

All of that to figure out later on our own that The Princess might have chicken pox.

Anyways, when I got home and started telling stories of my weekend, The Boss Lady has banished me from leaving town again. Especially if someone dies.

Home run

I am heading back home for a couple of days. The kids get to hang out with mom at work this afternoon and at home with her all day on Friday. Though I doubt they will actually spend much time at home. The Boss Lady always has something good for them to do.

KB's dad died unexpectedly this week. So I'll be heading home this afternoon to attend funeral services Friday. Buck was a huge guy, that we should have all been terrified of as teenagers. But he was actually a giant teddy bear and KB's friends loved hanging out with Buck. He will be missed by his family and innumerable friends.

Mom and Dad are out of town this week, so I'll have their house to myself. But short of raiding the fridge of sodas, I doubt if I'll make too much of a mess there on this trip.

Fence this!

Our side fence has been standing for almost 25 years. Pretty good for a wooden privacy fence that was probably built on the cheap back then. It is 85 feet long and a straight, flat run. Nothing special as far as fences go.

We have put off replacing the side fence since we moved here 7 years ago. Thanks to
the neighbor who did not like the way her fence looked, and a nasty thunderstorm 5 years ago, the rest of the fence has been replaced.

After the storm, I built our back fence and we split the cost with the neighbor on the other side. It took me a couple of weeks, because I worked on it when I got home from work each day. And I hand nailed the entire thing. No nail guns were involved in the making of that fence. But mainly it was a good chance to beat on something after working 10 hours a day with people I could not stand.

Then, the neighbor paid to have a new fence built surrounding her yard. 100 feet of that fence divides our yard from her driveway. But we hated the fence she chose, so we did not split the cost with her. So she is the proud owner of a wall of wood that towers 13 feet high over part of our side yard.

Our neighbor on the opposite side, where the old fence still stands, is a lot easier going. He and I have already agreed to build another plain wooden privacy fence and to split the costs. Originally I was thinking that we would built it ourselves. But I started calling around for estimates from fence companies to make sure that we would be saving enough money to make it worth the hassle.

The first company told me it would cost $1400 to fence that side of our yard. IF they hit no rock while digging post holes. (Not bloody likely around here). If they have to run the jackhammer, it would cost $1500 more! So they are charging at minimum $16 a foot for fence installed, with teardown and haul off of the old stuff. And if they play with the jackhammer, they get $34 a foot.

So, assuming that $16 a foot is close to what the other companies estimate, I guess I'll be building some fence pretty soon. But this time I think I'll bring a nail gun.

Second bid, almost as bad...

$13.50 a foot for a basic fence and up to $18 a foot for a "nicer" fence. AND $500 for the jackhammer that they won't even let me play with.

Want to trade a week of winter for two weeks of summer?

The kids and I are officially sick of summer. 25 days in a row of 100 degree heat and no rain for more than a month has worn us out. After all, we can only go swimming to escape the heat so many times. Last week I strung up some lights on the playscape. That way the kids can be out there after 8:30pm, when it is only 97.9 degrees. It is too hot to play out there after about 10:30 in the morning. Right about the time we usually hit our stride and WANT to go play outside.

This morning we are going to get the front yard watered and this weekend The Talker and I washed all three cars. The windows of the truck are rolled down and I am leaving them that way until it gets wet in there. So, short of doing a rain dance in the backyard, we have done everything I can think of to tempt some rain showers our way.

In other family news...



I got nuthin'. But did I tell you about the heat?

Home again

The kids and I got home Thursday afternoon. On the way home we stopped at the zoo. After a couple of hours there and three hours in the car, I was wiped out. But not the twosome. They rode around the zoo in a rented wagon and napped for a little in the car.

The kids were wired when we got home but it was about 30 degrees too hot to be outside, so they watched The Incredibles on the big TV and I hid out in the back of the house for an hour and a half. I am not much on napping, but the next thing I knew the kids were climbing on me and telling me that the movie was over. And we still had three hours until The Boss Lady would be home from work.

Somehow we made it through the afternoon. We ended up meeting up with The Boss Lady for some yummy Tex-Mex at dinner and luckily the kids crashed quickly at bed time.

Another road trip down and another day survived. Yeah for us.

Stop thief!

I am quickly growing convinced that someone has boosted our portable DVD player from the car. I have turned the house, car and garage upside down looking for it this morning. We don't use it often and it is usally crammed under one of the front seats in my car.

But this morning I was setting up the car for our quick road trip and I can't find the DVD player anywhere. I let the kids use it one afternoon last week when we were out running errands and had to skip naptime. Since then, dunno.

If you have any leads, call the police. Or Crimestoppers.

After all, this is Texas. A thief could probably get The Chair for stealing a kid's DVD player right before a road trip.

Hiding out

The Boss Lady's brand new school opens to kids in the morning. 400 or so kids, from 3 yrs old through however old 5th graders are, will arrive at somewhere after 7:00 in the morning.

So I am doing what supportive husbands all over do when the wife's job gets too hectic. We are getting the heck out of the way.

I am packing up the kids and we are leaving until Thursday. Going to Mom and Dad's for some end of the summer fun. Or just for a couple of days of watching a different TV. Whatever. We are packed and will head out in the morning once the kids wake up.

It is only 3 hours from here to there, but since President Bush is back in DC, we can cut through Crawford, past his ranch, and enjoy a nice drive through the country. Without any fear of ticking off the Secret Service and ending up in Guantanamo.

Plus, by escaping for a couple of days, we will avoid ticking off the Principal on the first day of school and spending the rest of the year on her bad side.

Edit - I was a day early. When The Boss got home at 9:00 last night, she clued me in that kids start on Wednesday. But that only really matters to me and you next year, on The Talker's first day of school.

Four years ago tonight'

I worked my last evening as a Parks and Recreation professional. That day ended with the fabled going-away party to which I showed up late and most of the guests were already gone and the food was eaten by the time I arrived. Two days later I started my current gig as Stay at Home Dad.

I am sure I could think of something profound to say about the experiences of the last four years, but I am too tired. Maybe I'll get around to it in a couple of days. The kids wore me out this afternoon while The Boss Lady was at work.

(And that, ladies and gentlemen might be the REAL lesson of being a SAHD.)

Good Night.

Kiddie Mosh Pit

When I first started this Stay at Home Dad gig, The Talker was 8 months old. The boy and I would make weekly jaunts to the coolest bookstore in town to catch story time with Miss Staci. And almost 4 years later, we are still following Miss Staci around town. Today we caught her story time at The Austin Children's Museum.

Her songs are the part that keep the kids coming back for more. And today we bought a copy of her debut album, The Big Bubble Be Bop. The Talker is already on his third listen to the new CD.

Anyways, today, when she sang her title song, Miss Staci had a bubble machine that was going at full speed. All of the kids tried to cram into a 10 square foot area where the bubbles were landing. It was pretty funny to see. Since The Princess was one of the smallest ones in the mix, I was anxious to make sure none of the other kids decided to let her body surf overhead.

After the chaos ended, we headed over to the museum store to buy the album. We came back later for Miss Staci to autograph it for us.

It makes the day go faster

If you get real dizzy first!

Superman slept here

For the past month or so The Princess has been calling her big brother Superman. But mostly when he is asleep in his room. She seldom says it when he is in earshot. Not that he would mind. The boy thinks super heros are super duper cool. And anyone that thinks he might be one is alright by him.

Since The Princess wakes up most mornings before him, I get to hear "Daddy, Superman is asleep. Let's go wake him up" five times a week. But this afternoon, Superman took the blame for a wet spot on the tile.

While big bro was still napping, The Princess told me "Daddy, Superman wet my pants." I looked up and saw the tell-tale wet spot and the puddle on the floor. But I wasn't fooled. After all, don't you think Superman would have super bladder strength? He would be able to hold it for days and days....

It is just too bad she was wearing Superman's cowboy boots when the second spontaneous potty break of the day occurred.

Maybe I'll just tell Superman to avoid his cowboy boots for a few days, since someone spilled liquid kryptonite in them.

Let the housebreaking begin!

The Princess has started potty training. The rest of us are wearing rain gear and have draped the whole house in plastic tarps.

Hopefully this goes a little quicker than it did with The Talker. Because I don't know how long The Big White Dog will wear that rain poncho.

If she kneecaps him, Elmo will be soooooo sad.

I think The Princess might have been watching Scarface last night while we slept. Whatever it was, she has perfected her Mafioso Goon voice. I kept hearing her from the other room "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? "

Once I got to the bottom of the laundry basket I went searching for The Princess and her hostage. Turns out a couple of Elmo dolls were getting the third degree while sitting in a rocking chair. But the Elmos would make good mobsters. 'Cause they weren't sayin' nuffin.

As I walked away I heard The Princess trying the soft approach "You WERE talking to me! I love you Elmo."

I think the boy has it all figured out

The Talker and The Princess have been playing pretend all morning. She is pretending to get ready and to leave for work. And he keeps telling her "Mommies go to work. Daddies stay home".

A minute ago he followed that up with "so I'll stay here and play with all of our toys while you go to work."

4 day re-cap

The kids and I have been keeping busy this week while The Boss Lady is working crazy hours to get her school ready for kids.

The Talker finally got his first real video game this past weekend. He is crazy for Cars, so we bought him a Cars game for our computer. Then I got it installed and found out that our 6 month old computer's onboard video card would not run the game. Off to Fry's for a new video card while the boy napped. $100 and 3 hours later, we were smashing cars all over Radiator Springs.

Sunday the kids each got to take a ride around the neighborhood in the now complete truck. It isn't finished, a long way from that, it does however now have ALL the major elements of a truck. Cab, motor, transmission,brakes and a BED.

Monday night we went out to the baseball game for a few innings. No excitement there, except for the $1 hotdogs and sodas. A night at the ballpark with your kids? Priceless. Feeding everyone out there, $7. What a bargain.

Tuesday. Stuff happened. Can't remember any specifics, though.

Wednesday we swam in the indoor pool at the YMCA, after hitting the playscape for an hour. Whoever decided that building giant canopies over playscapes in Texas was a good idea should be given the Nobel Peace Prize. Everyone was happy and everyone napped. Good times.

This morning the twosome played in the backyard and watched birds attack the feeder that we finally filled up over the weekend. One bluejay is in charge, but there are at least 20 other birds sneaking turns at the feeder when he chases away an intruder. While the kids were on the playscape I cleaned up what was left of the spring veggie garden. The only plants left out there now are one eggplant and a Sweet Basil. Everything else died in the heat. Soon we will start working on our fall garden.

By the way, when I spell checked this entry, Blogger thought I should change canopies to cannabis. I guess they think that the guy who decides to grow pot at the playscape should win an award, too.

What a great loss!

This afternoon The AtHomeFamily headed out to the ballpark to watch some AAA Minor League Baseball. It was sure to be an exciting night, because the kids got free backpacks and the team was letting kids under 12 run around the bases after the game.

We got there early because the team has bouncers, ponies and lots of activities for kids before Sunday games. And The Talker is still stalking his favorite player for an autograph. His glove has three more autographs, now. Taylor Buckholz signed the glove and a ball that a stadium staffer had given the boy earlier. Roberto Giron signed the glove AND gave the boy a ball that he then autographed. And Jason Hirsch signed the glove of fame, too. But still no Jesse Garcia.

During the third inning, the Manager, Jackie Moore got thrown out of the game along with 4 players. No fight, just lots of mouthing off and bad officiating. Jesse Garcia and Humberto Quintero, got tossed first. Then Joe McEwing got thrown out less than 20 minutes after he came in to cover for Garcia. Brooks Conrad got sent to the showers after that.

The game was pretty much a loss after that. The Express did not even have enough men left to field a Designated Hitter, so we got to witness a rare occurrence, pitchers having to DH for themselves and in the bottom of the 9th, we even saw a pitcher have to pinch hit. JR House, a catcher, started at first and ended up playing 2nd, even though he had never played that position before.

Somewhere in the middle of the chaos, the kids went to the play area and bounced and played on the playscape behind the outfield wall. The Boss Lady and I were selected to go onto the field and compete head to head in the Dizzy Bat Race. She won the t-shirt. I wanted to barf. But that might have just been the nachos and jalepenos I ate in the 4th inning.

And after the 7th inning stretch, The Talker almost caught a freebie ball. It bounced out of his hand and rolled into the aisle in front of us. A little kid, maybe 8 or 9 years old, dove over the row of seats to grab the ball. And then he really surprised us when he turned and gave the ball to The Talker. Then like a flash, he was gone, before we could really thank him.

Good times.

Didyaknow?

That you can cram a queen sized futon mattress into three 33 gallon trash bags after you cut it up with a razor knife?

When we brought home The Talker's bunkbeds, one of our cats decided that the smell of the last family's cat needed to be dealt with. So he (or she, but probably he...)peed right in the middle of the queen sized futon mattress on the lower bunk. Nice!

The futon has been waiting to meet it's fate since then. And this afternoon I sliced and diced that stinky son of a gun into pieces. Now I have to go make nice with the home improvement king down the street. If he won't let me use his dumpster, maybe I'll just drive it to KB's house and throw the three chunks of stank over his back fence.

Watermelon Surprise

The kids were playing in the yard this morning while I worked in the garden. The veggie garden is all but done for the season. I am leaving the tomatoes, eggplant and a few of the bean plants in the ground. Everything else has already died off from the daily 100 + degree heat.

This year my cucumbers were a total loss. Not a single bloom. The pumpkin vines were pretty, but we only had two pumpkins and they both rotted on the vine. The watermelons in the main garden were just as worthless.

After getting all of the plants and vines into the composter, I checked the watermelon vine that we planted in the kids garden. I was about to pull that vine up too, when I saw a small melon on the vine. Then I looked closer and there was one full grown and ripe 15 pound watermelon.

We picked it and sliced it right in the backyard. The kids chomped on fresh melon while I cut up a bowl full so that we could chill some in the fridge for a snack tonight.

Big time yummy.

AtHomeDaddy isn't so hard to find

Here are some of the more interesting recent searches that led to AtHomeDaddy. These come to you via my Site Meter records:

hillbilly and bride garage
broken sofa recliner
how to shoot an armadillo
katherine boose
toy for 6 months old...hanging and rotating type (PLEASE DO NOT hang OR rotate a 6 month old)
bocce rules
food dehydrator apple chip
Fishing in Lightning (Don't do it...)

Yard Bass

After dinner, the kids climbed all over the new boat, fishing rods in hand, trying to catch a big one in the tall grass. The fishing may not have been great, in our side yard, but it was a lot of fun watching the kids have fun together while I cleaned on the boat some more.

I should apologize to my Home-Ec teacher

Somewhere my high school Home-Economics teacher is still having nightmares about the year that I was in her class.

There was the time I threw all of the plastic plates in the drawer under the stove because I was in a hurry to get to my next class. Too bad it wasn't just a drawer like my mom's stove, it was a broiler drawer and a few classes later the students were broiling dinner meals. You guessed it, broiler heating up full of plastic plates = melted plastic all over the Home-Ec kitchen and a stink that lasted the rest of the semester.

Then there was an "unfortunate sewing accident" that resulted in three sleeves and no neck hole on a shirt that I was supposed to model for the class. Is it any wonder that I flunked that project?

Several field trips, including one to the grocery store broke out in total chaos because of me and my buddies in class. And I know for sure that we made her cry in class a few times.

But wouldn't Mrs. B be proud to know that I just managed to take a kitchen full of dirty dishes and load them ALL into one dishwasher load. It took a lot of adjusting and shifting of plates and pans, but I am sure that there are at least two and a half loads of dishes in there now.

Mrs. B, I AM putting your class to good use. I still remember that 'A clean home is a happy home'. It isn't that I have forgotten your lessons, it is just that I don't really care if my house is a little sad because it is messy. At least the dishwasher is happy. Heck, with that load, it should be overjoyed.

And Mrs. B, sorry about the whole nervous breakdown thing. It REALLY was KB's fault.

Out with the old and in with the really old

So the bedroom carpet is gone. The master closet floor is no longer covered in 24 year old and we have adjusted pretty well to our newest project. In the next couple of weeks we will be ripping carpet out of the kid's rooms and closets. Then we will be a 100% hard floor family.

The bare concrete is not too bad. We ripped carpets up several years before we decided to tile the family room and common areas of the house. I am looking forward to getting rid off all of the remaining carpet. But the rest of the carpet will stay and I will strip each room one at a time.

And yesterday afternoon I drug home my own birthday present. I am going to start working my new boat pretty soon. It is not so much new as it is mine, though. In fact, it is older than I am by several years and it hasn't been registered to go on the water since I was 5 years old. Hopefully in a few months the family and I will be cruising the lake in old school style.


This picture was taken before I cleaned anything up. I spent several hours cleaning yesterday and it is already looking a lot better. This afternoon I started cleaning up the trailer. I need to add lights and get a couple of spots re-welded. Then I'll be trying to start up the old motor that hasn't been run in decades.

Big fun at the lake for us. Hopefully by next summer.

My Birthday cake tasted like dog food!

Or maybe this post should be titled :

It's my party and I'll bark if I want to...

The wife and kids baked me a cake yesterday. But when my birthday cake was cooling off before getting slathered in icing, the dog struck.

He ate the whole thing.

So we went to the new ice cream shop a couple of miles away. The ice cream was good but I did pass on the birthday cake ice cream. I did not want to be the only one in the family eating dog food flavored ice cream.